Betrayed

I received some unexpected news on Tuesday night about something that was going on behind my back. I am still in shock. It does not matter what it is, the situation has been taken care of, but it still hurts a lot.

Maybe after a few more bottles of red and a few more sleepless nights..this feeling will go away but right now, at this moment, it is very very real. I was betrayed.

Betrayed-I looked up the definition and it says : to disclose in violation of confidence. Yep..betrayed that word is perfect. And it is an emotion that I have not felt since the 9th grade when my friend Shari and my friend Krista decided to both get mad at me at the same time. Then, they talked about me to all our other friends.

At the end of my last blog, I wrote that everything in the world is exactly how it should be. And I still believe that. You are where you are supposed to be every second of the day. Life goes exactly how it it supposed too. And sometimes, it is happy and sometimes it is not so happy..and these last few days have been some not so happy days.

I remember a poem that I loved when I was younger and so I will add it to close this blog. It is called After a while:

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open,

With the grace of a woman,

Not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, In stead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure...That you really are strong And you really do have worth,and you learn and learn...

With every good bye you learn.